$10 per entry to play. One-time entry fee. That’s it! 10 clams. That is less than it would cost you to purchase a Salted Caramel Mocha Strato Frappuccino with a shot of Blonde Espresso in a mocha sauce lined Venti (read: large) cup and a slice of delicious lemon loaf ($12.46, not including tip). I know this because I just put those bad boys into my Starbucks app that I only use in airports... because I generally just make coffee at home because 1. it is cheaper; B. I don’t have to speak Italian to get my caffeine on; and 3. Coffee has only two syllables, so I conserve energy by only saying that. Plus, I would rather use my money to gamble away in football pools because that seems way more fiscally responsible. If you just followed that runaway train, consider signing up for my upcoming financial planning workshop where I promise to offer more run on sentences that go absolutely nowhere yet leave you oddly satisfied and amused. But I digress – here is the bottom line – it is still $10 per entry. Enter as many times as you want and know that by entering, you are checking off an imaginary “terms and conditions” box that allows me to send you annoying emails until the end of time. Or until you tell me to stop. I can be a pest, but also generally rather compliant.
Enter as many times as you would like. Each entry must be under a different “team” name. It is not enough to simply enter a number after your name. For example, if you have 3 entries, you cannot be Kim1, Kim2, and Kim3. And don’t try to trick me by doing it backwards. 1Kim, 2Kim doesn’t work either, and plus, Dr. Seuss already took over that little rhythmic staple. Consider this your opportunity to flex your creativity muscles and go a little crazy. When you get imaginative, you grow as a human, so think of this exercise as learning a new life skill. And I am your coach, but without a whistle. If you are new to LFS and already feeling stress about this requirement, do not fret. Here are a few examples from previous years: Victorious Secret, Rolling with MaHomies, Bad Bad A.J. Brown. Get it? The possibilities are endless, and you can work with any theme you want – NFL players’ names, your kids, your pets, your grandma’s favorite recipe, anything. Just have fun with it.
2b. Because I know there are a lot of Eagles fans here (as there should be), we do sometimes get duplicate names. If that happens, the first one registered gets it, and I’ll ask the other person to pick something else. What an incentive to register early!!
2c. REWARD OPPORTUNITY: The most original and fun team name this year (as determined by me and my tech squad) will get a free entry in next year’s pool. If you do the math and spend 4 minutes thinking up an original team name and that name wins this big huge prize, that’s like making $150/hour. For only one hour, but still. Take the win when you get it. Congratulations to last year’s winner: “Say Hello to my Kittle Friend.” Nicely played, Zach. Very clever. I’ll email you separately to make sure you know you have a free entry.
2d. ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: Since this LFS community continues to grow and includes many who I do not know personally, let me add an important caveat: Original team names are encouraged. I fully support freedom of expression. You be you. HOWEVER – I reserve the right to reject a team name if I deem it to be discriminatory or offensive to a group or class of persons. This gig is for fun and should remain light-hearted. No hate allowed. Although anti-Dallas rhetoric will be assessed with a much lower level of scrutiny because, well, that is just common sense. At this point, I don’t even think it is just Eagles fans that are piling on. Hey Micah Parsons! If you have some free time this season, come join our pool!
Each week during the NFL regular season, you must pick one winner (per entry) - no points – to straight up win. You pick the one NFL team that you are convinced will win the game. If you have multiple entries, you can pick a different team for each entry. Or bet the same team for every entry and spend your Sunday afternoon pacing. Your call. If your chosen team wins, you move on to the next round. If the team loses (or ties), we keep your money, and you get on a rickety old shuttle bus to the cheap seats (perhaps temporarily) and hang your head in shame. NOTE: During Weeks 1 – 5, you will have an option to ride the shuttle back to the big kids table, but more on that later. Let me be clear – it MUST be a win. A tie is not a win. Same amount of letters; One letter in common. Yet still so different. Win is good. Tie is bad. So simple yet so complex…
You may not pick the same team twice during the season. Once you pick a team, it will be removed from your option list, just so you avoid temptation. We are practically spoon-feeding you a victory. If only deciding what to order at Starbucks was this easy. And cheaper.
Please read this section carefully. All entries are submitted via the website. Each week, the website will be open by Tuesday evening (sometimes sooner) to submit your picks for the following week. If there is a Thursday, Friday or Saturday game, picks must be submitted an hour before kickoff. For Sunday and Monday games, picks must be submitted by 12:30pm EST on Sunday. If you are one of those weekend warriors who does a million things right up until game time, I suggest you get your picks in during the week, so you don’t get knocked to the cheap seats because you missed the submission deadline. Believe me – this happens at least a few times every year, so do whatever you need to do to remind yourself to make a pick. Alarms are a free feature on phones. Or alarms are also a free feature on alarm clocks (thus the name) if you are old school enough to have one of those relics. Or…ask Alexa to help. “Alexa, please sound an alarm once an hour from 8am until 12pm every Sunday during football season so I don’t end up in the cheap seats for being forgetful.” You can do this! Even if you make a pick early in the week, you can go in and change it anytime up until the deadline(s). Even if you are not 100% sure of your submission – some pick is better than no pick. It is devastating for me to see someone get knocked out because they missed the deadline. Okay, maybe “devastating” is a little dramatic, but you get the point. I think I am overcaffeinated from my mocha lined Venti.
4b. The website will be closed and locked at 12:30pm (EST) every Sunday, and no additional picks will be accepted for that week. There are no exceptions. Really. If you do not submit your pick by 12:30, do not email and ask if you can still pick one of the 4pm or Monday games. I will answer with a link to the rules and a kind suggestion that you peruse Rule #4b. That is the one you are currently reading. A “No Pick” will be considered a loss, but at least you will get first dibs on a comfy spot in the cheap seats for that week. And more good news - a “No Pick” is still eligible for Buy Backs through week 5. This is because I care about you and your feelings and your money. All of it really but mostly your money.
Speaking of money, here is the good stuff for those of you who are feeling stressed about entering the LFS stratosphere. Even if you are really bad at picking games, and trust me, some of you are really bad, we have a way to keep you engaged for at least 2 weeks. If you get knocked out at any time during weeks 1-5, you may buy back into the pool for the low, low price of $15. It’s like Prime Day but better because this includes immediate gratification and no concerns about porch pirates absconding with your goods.
Here are the BUY BACK rules: (1). Each entry is permitted one buy back. (2). It must be the week right after you were knocked out. (C). Buying back in means you continue with your same team so you still cannot use previous picks. (4). Payment is due at the time of re-entry. PayPal and Venmo never sleep. (E). If you lose with your buy-back option, you are totally out, and your season is over. (6). After Week 5, anyone who loses from that point forward is out. Once you are out, you move to the cheap seats. Depending on when you enter the cheap seats, here are some general suggestions: Bring a fan, a charger and some snacks. The A/C broke last season and with prices continuing to rise, there is no guarantee when it will be fixed. As the crowd grows, it can get stuffy. The snack bar will be open throughout the season, but the line can be long and no matter how well we make preseason ordering projections, we often run out of popcorn and at least one kind of candy. Last season, Mike and Ikes seemed to be very popular, so be resourceful and plan ahead. Cargo pants may or may not still be in style, but for purposes of snack time, those giant pockets can be clutch!
If you would like to participate in this very fun game, click here to sign up. Our extraordinary webmasters – Blaire, Stella, and Baby Bubba’s parental units - continue to make fabulous changes to the website to make this a seamless experience. Registration is super easy, and you can register as many teams as you want. If you are returning from last year, your email is already saved in the system so log on in and create your teams. Sorry – team names do not carry over from year to year so time to get creative again! If you forget your password, want to change a team name, or want to add/subtract teams, the on-screen instructions will walk you through the process.
All payments will be handled electronically. Use Paypal or Venmo
If you are using PayPal, be sure to select “Send money to family or friends” and not “Pay for goods or service.”
For Venmo, please make sure the “Turn on for purchases” button is not toggled on.
In both cases I will be charged a fee which I do not want to pay. If you need help with this part, please ask a millennial before starting to peck around at buttons and causing me angst. That conduct will greatly decrease your chance at winning best team name. I know that one should not correlate with the other, but sometimes I like to make up my own rules.
7A. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE:
Please understand that while our process is streamlined and pretty seamless, there is still a human component involved. When you pay for a new team or buy back in after a sad Sunday of not winning, allow a grace period before emailing me to say you “still can’t make a pick.” I manually activate each team after your payment is submitted, and while it may seem as if we sit at our laptops just waiting for our frolicking football friends to communicate with us, from time to time we do have other responsibilities such as working, sleeping, showering and caring for miniature humans. Eating and drinking wine also enter the equation, but we can usually multi-task those with football pretty well. Thank you in advance for your patience. I promise – no one will miss a deadline and get knocked to the cheap seats because of us. Y’all do a good job of that all on your own.
Cash payouts will be awarded for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place. So, it really is Last FANS Standing. Actual dollar amounts will be determined after Week 5, but the percentage breakout will be: 1st place: 65%; 2nd place: 25%; 3rd place: 10%. Due to the time, brain space, and ongoing energy required to run this pool, our web team (Team Maverick) and I each get 1 free entry for every 35 entries.
And finally, feel free to forward this email to anyone you think would like to participate. The more, the merrier... and the bigger the prizes. Last year’s final numbers included 375 entries and a total money pot of $7,920. For the first time in LFS history, seven smarties shared the winnings, so each took home over $7K. Not a bad return on investment and certainly MORE than enough to get me a nice holiday gift. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas (not really) and a nice bottle of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc (really).